Feelings on the Page
by Mitzia
Summary: While Akihiko is out of the house for work, Misaki tries to clean up after a brutal cycle. Among the mess in the office, he stumbles upon an old book featuring his lover and his brother.


Akihiko had been out of the house all day for a meeting with Isaka and Aikawa. It had to do with an upcoming project, at least that's what Misaki was told. The teen had seen his lover for only a few minutes before he was snatched away by the president and editor earlier that morning.

"At least I can actually get work done today without that stupid rabbit clinging to me every few seconds," Misaki sighed in relief.

It was a little after noon and the boy had finished washing the dishes after eating last night's leftovers. The penthouse was empty except for him and the extravagant furniture occupying the floor. Misaki sighed again as he stretched his arms over his head.

"I'll start with the upstairs since that'll take the most work," he said to himself. He walked towards the stairs and slouched a bit. Akihiko had recently finished a project and his office and bedroom made a war-zone look as empty as a school building in summer.

Misaki reached the door of the office and took a deep breath before entering. The room was musty and the blinds were closed, at least they were supposed to be. One side was hanging off the pole above the window as if the author yanked at it rather than pull gently to close it. Thick books with notes sticking out were scattered all over the floor along with bottles of energy drinks and snack bar wrappers.

"This is going to be like hell," Misaki muttered.

He opened the other side of the blinds and the window to let in some sunlight and fresh air. He began picking up the wrappers and empty bottles to throw in a small trash can that was apparently invisble to Akihiko.

Misaki piled the thick books together and set them on the desk. Among the literature, he found some older books written by his lover and found an equal amount of missing spaces on the bookcases against the opposite wall.

"Let's see, this goes here and this goes here, wait, shouldn't there be another one here?" Misaki looked at the books in his hand to find the third volume of one of the rare normal series' the author wrote. There were too many books in his hands and the pile fell to the dirty floor again.

"Dammit," he mumbled as he bent down to pick them back up. "What's this?"

A white book with pink binding caught his eye. "Reminiscent Romance? That's so cheesy. Wait a minute, this is another BL novel! Is this one of me or Nii-chan?!" the teen yelled.

Misaki opened the book to a random page and dropped the books in his hands without noticing.

"'I love you, or rather, I loved you. I still have feelings for you, however, they've changed. I don't know what has happened, but it is a change that I am physically happy with. My heart is telling me this is the right thing to do, but I feel like it's wrong,' Akihiko explained with the most emotion he could unvoluntarily muster. It broke his heart to say this to Takahiro after all they had been through, but it had to be said.

'Was it something I had done?' Takahiro asked.

'No, it wasn't you, it was never you. I just think that we should stop this before we get hurt.'

Takahiro stared at the man with eyes filling with a sudden strike of melancholy behind water building up. He knew this would happen and yet he believed that it wouldn't. He thought Akihiko would love him forever. The one thing he didn't want to happen became a reality," Misaki read aloud.

"'I understand. This had to happen eventually. Maybe it'll be for the best,' Takahiro said with his usual kind smile.

'I know you're lying behind that face,' Akihiko said.

'Well, I'm shocked and hurt, but I'm not lying. This was a big bomb to drop, after all! Hehe, I'm sure after some time, it'll be fine.'

Saying those words had killed him more than what his now ex-lover had said, but somehow he felt stronger like it wasn't the end."

Misaki closed the book and set it down beside him. His emerald eyes had overflowed throughout that reading unbeknownest to him. As a person who rarely read novels, he didn't understand the affect words had on people. The way those emotions were conveyed were exactly the kind an award-winning author would write. They were so real and it felt as if he was there.

Perhaps it was because he was there in spirit.

Before Misaki had come into the author's life, his older brother, Takahiro, was took the spotlight in his attention. After Takahiro had gotten married, Akihiko had to let his unrequited love go brutally.

"His stories have are his fantasies made for profit. This must have been what was going through his head when Nii-chan married Nee-san," Misaki said.

The front door opened and footsteps moved along the hardwood floor downstairs. Misaki slammed the paperback book shut and piled up the books on the floor, not bothering to organize them properly first.

"Usagi-san! You're home!" Misaki said.

"Yeah, but probably not for long. Isaka might come over here an- are you okay?" Akihiko asked. Misaki had walked down the steps and stood a few feet away from him. His eyes were puffy and slightly bloodshot with thin transparent streaks dried on his pale cheeks.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the teen said.

"Were you crying?"

"Huh? No, I uh, got dust in my eye from cleaning your office."

Misaki had to lie. He wouldn't dare bring up his brother. Akihiko was better than he could have been with Misaki being only his.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

**I had this idea sitting in my idea list since I made the damn thing back in 2013 XD I thought of it differently, but with recent events in my life, this seemed better. Last month, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half and although I was devastated over what I was giving up, I was also content with knowing I wouldn't hurt him or myself. I tried to use this story to convey that, but after a month and a new boyfriend on top of that, it turned out differently, in my eyes anyways. I hope you enjoyed it :)**

**Until next time, sayonara~!**


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